Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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