I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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