why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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