I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I want her autograph on my taint
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
