I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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