I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize