I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
