The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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