Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
