yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize