you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
