i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
