mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize