Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
sex in a hospital.. check
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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