you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
