I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
