My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
