I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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