Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
