So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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