I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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