Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
