So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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