I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
