worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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