Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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