Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
