Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
