What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
