We won't sleep together?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Congratulations! We have a period
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