Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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