I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just pee around me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize