I heard we made out
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I just sharted jello shots
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