what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize