who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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