I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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