So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
this will be a night to untag.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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