Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
