you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
