I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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