I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Did I show you my penis last night?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
there is glitter all over my balls
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
