Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
