but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
