I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
