I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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