is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
