its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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