Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
