i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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