I need help removing her.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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