what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
