Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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