So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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