I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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