Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
