Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
