i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
