love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
