they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
there is glitter all over my balls
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