i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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