May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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